I may have finally been shocked into action. I’ve been talking about losing weight for a long time, but the commitment was not there; I attended Weight Watchers, but my weight just went down and up within a few kilograms, I tried a week of Lite n’ Easy, but then I had two work trips within two months. Now, I think I have received the jolt I need to get serious about this: a photo taken by one of my team mates on our latest co-working trip.
I really didn’t realise it had gotten this bad. Perhaps over winter I have been hiding under baggy clothes, but it was summer in Korea where our team trip was located, so not an option. It’s also possible I have been subconsciously avoiding mirrors.
Now it’s time to remind myself what I need to do. Eat less, move more. Not just eat less, but eat better things. I’ve definitely given myself leave lately to eat more snacks and sweets when I am not at home, and occasionally when I am.
Things I hate about being overweight
In no particular order, these are the things I dislike and why things need to change:
- Reduced self-confidence
- Clothes (choosing, finding, shopping, pretty much everything)
- Poor sleep
- Low energy
- Increased risk of Breast Cancer
- Increased risk of Type II Diabetes
- Potential difficulty falling pregnant
- Harder to move (walk, run, jump, climb, most things are just harder)
- False self-image
The last one is a bit interesting. What I see in that recent picture is not how I see myself… at all. In my mind I’m not quite as slim as the older picture either, but my residual self image is nothing like my current state and I want them to align more closely.
Things I loved about being slim
I had that polka dot dress, other dresses, a leather jacket, and Levi jeans… they were all great, and they are waiting for me in a vacuum sealed bag.
- Easy of movement
I leapt over a fence to rescue my aunt’s cat and it was sooo easy!
- Sense of accomplishment
I had lost weight, and could be proud of that. I also knew I was doing what I could to be healthy.
How did I get here?
Unfortunately, I developed depression and anxiety after I lost weight in 2009. Thanks to the inactivity and low motivation that goes with that I started to put on weight. In more recent years I have a new job and I have been focused on maintaining a standard of work while keeping up my mental health, not being very diligent with my physical health.
I know mental and physical health are often connected. Normally losing weight might help alleviate depression, but that was not how it happened for me. There was no known trigger for my mental health issues and I just had to learn how to deal with them, which took a lot of focus and practice. I also linked some of my work motivation and efficiency with visiting a cafe, which meant eating breakfast there, every day. Not the greatest for weight loss, but at the time work was more necessary for me.
What am I going to do?
I am going to do more intensive and regular exercise. My husband convinced me to run with him 3 times a week, which has been a good discipline, but between rain, illness, and travel, I haven’t done that for a few months. It is also a fairly short run; I need to exercise for longer than that.
More specifically I am starting Xtend Barre; I did my first class this morning and it was challenging, I sweated, and I’m sore (in a good way). Yesterday I was thinking (a little too ambitiously) that I would go 5 days a week, but I think I should start with 3 and work my way up.
Eat better. I’m going to do Lite n’ Easy for a while; I’ll see how long I can stick to it. My husband eats his daytime meals at work, so I can order LnE dinners for him too and and make life really easy. I can still work from the cafe and drink black coffee (my preferred coffee anyway!), but I will eat breakfast at home.
I have another work trip in September, so I think it would be wise to use a calorie counting app while I’m there so I don’t go overboard with food and drink. When I return from that trip I might exchange LnE for Weight Watchers and start cooking again; I will make the decision closer to the time.