It’s a bit sad that only 3 weeks in to a long journey it’s already tough. Then again, some weeks will be harder than others, maybe it’s not important when they come, only that I persevere.
I forgot to write about week 2: I lost 0.3kg. I wasn’t quite so good at planning, and I forgot to track a couple of meals so I was closer to using all my points than I thought. I was still under my weekly allowance though, I’m sure.
I resolved to track better and drink less wine…
That didn’t happen.
I was feeling anxious this week and it’s a bit of a habit to eat out at cafes to try to make myself feel better. I’m not sure if it’s comfort food, or just having someone else cook and wait on me. When I’m anxious I also make poorer decision on what I eat, such as muffins, Pringles and wine.
What was I anxious about?
- Work: I think I may have felt like I wasn’t working as well as my team mates deserve. This isn’t necessarily true, perhaps just imposter syndrome.
- Losing weight: I ended up stressing myself out about eating, particularly regarding our WordPress meetup, after which I always get a schnitzel and beer. I couldn’t decide if I was allowed to have those this week. In the end I did and I didn’t berate myself for it, but maybe I shouldn’t eat them in the future (or plan the rest of my week better to allow for them).
- Exercise: it was raining a lot this week, so we didn’t do our jogs every second day. I don’t like jogging, but I steel myself for it. Not knowing whether I will be getting up to jog the following morning causes me some anxiety.
- Bad dreams: my anxiety came out in my dreams too, which came back to me in snippets throughout the day, not helping matters.
- Camp: I’m leading a sailing camp in December, which is coming up way too quickly. We don’t have enough leaders for it yet, which is always the hard part. This is more of a worry than actual anxiety; the difference being this worry doesn’t have physical effects on me and is something I can actually work towards fixing, the others are more mental obstacles that have physical side effects.
My goals this week are to plan and track better. I’m already on my way having chosen three breakfasts to choose from each morning and assigned a meal for dinner each night.